"Birthdays & bad parents ??!"....

Bad parents & birthdays??! What?? Say it isn't so.  Call Hallmark there must be a card for this, right?Those are two very scary words when combined together... bad & birrrthdaaays. Tell me this story does not end badly? Do I need kleenex now or will there be an intermission before the end?? I can't stand it. Tell me...!! Please.


Our household was always a flurry of activity...busy, busy, busy! Although there were technically only two adults and two small children being raised ( or kids raising us. take your pick! ) There was an undercurrent of activity above and beyond what you could appreciate as an outside observer. Let me lay this out for you.  Mommy-O type A ( need I say more? nah ) and moving quickly to Daddy-O type L2...huh? type L2 ( as in laidback/with a twist of constant motion) think the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland with the pocket watch...I'm late, I'm late for a very important...well you get the idea.


How in the world did these two raise children together? 
As well as everyone else that's how!
One would have thought we had an assembly line of several dozen children and a flurry of activities going but somehow it worked for us, that is ...until it didn't.   
( that's a  story is for another time.)


My week was chiseled down for maximum use of every available mini micro-second I could pack into my bag and carry around. Those of you who remember me running crazy through town will laugh just thinking of the sight. ( laugh all you want )


I was up at the crack of dawn daily, which was fairly easy for me since I rarely slept. ( type A remember? ) I liked ( yes, I liked ) to stay up after my husband and children went to bed, to clean the house and do every stitch of laundry in and out of sight, down to the pair of socks that were on everyones feet when they climbed into their beds that night for slumber...Zzzzz.


My poor family. 
I am fairly certain they had a little built in glitch to their REM sleep cycle subliminally ignoring my touch and occasional cursing when I slipped my hand under the covers to take the socks from their feet as they slept to wash before morning. I mean really? They were bound to kick or pull them off during the night anyhow. Laugh as you will, but you know those socks that end up stuck in the sheets over the end of the mattress in the sock abyss?? ( I am fairly certain this is where the sock thief conjured up its role in the laundry room, a brewing conspiracy.)


My week....


I have been a nurse forever ...plus a day I think. So being a young family attempting to make ends meet, and apparently "keep up with the joneses" (whoever they were?? do you know?? I don't know them??)
We as their parents were the young overachievers with our crazy schedules. I did mention the 'nurse thing, right?' okay just checking. My schedule was all over the map. The kids spent many a celebration in a nurses lounge off the Emergency Room or Labor & Delivery. Where I would dutifully run in and out smiling, blowing kisses, hugs all around and off I would go!


Being a nurse actually helped and confused us as a family but we dealt the cards we had. I changed my work schedule  as the children were born and grew up. Working during the day, evenings and sometimes into the night. My husband was at the time, attempting to get a business off the ground which took an extraordinary amount of time, but on the other hand being your own boss also gave way and left quite a bit of flexibility. The word as parents we thrived for , flexibility. Just rolls off your tongue.


Now we all know that time period pre-kindergarten, where you want to stay with them every second and hear and see everything they do, then the days where you would kill, yes I literally mean kill to speak to anyone over the age of 4 or height of 36 inches tall.  I know you all had those moments too. I am absolutely positive. Looking back now....Hhmmm. Well needless to say strict planning was a necessity in our home, or so I thought.


My children were the type that would celebrate a holiday and the very next morning be counting on the calender how many days till it came again, especially when it came to birthdays. My daughter would launch into her very best "can't wait till my birthday in 364 more days" routine which readily turned into a date of January....because counting backwards was boring after the first few dozen times until the week before the happy event. Then counting down again was fair game!


She was three going on four years old. And had been happily chanting for about  360+ something days.."my birfday janwary 10th!" My husband and I had heard this for so long we had a special dance our hips would break into like robots the minute she began her janwary 10th song...to the left to the left, to the right...whoo hoo! Anyhow...


My entire family had moved away when she was a baby to the deeeeep South as in West Tennessee
( another story for another day! )  My husbands parents were local, and all of our marvelous friends. Life was good and apparently one of our offspring was ensuring her place on the very best list for gifts. I could now, on command like pavlov's dogs, not only do the dance but sing the janwary 10th song simultaneously. Do not attempt this unless you are a parent with much practice!


The night before the big event I could hardly get her to bed, of course this was cutting into my cleaning and washing routine. The sock abyss would gain ground on me darn it. Would we all survive with dirty clothes in the basket and the house not perfect? We were about to find out.


With family scattered, the time difference, and our calls coming from Tennessee and California, our Arizona telephone would always ring at the crack of dawn on the celebratory day awakening the whole house to giggles and squeals as the child in question would come bounding into our room to receive their special phone calls! It was all so terribly exciting.


In preparation the night before I would set their breakfast dishes out with party plates, placemats, balloons, flowers, cards, lions, tigers and bears....what? Oopps got a little carried away. Needless to say we enjoyed the moments we celebrated in our house.


This particular year was..... different. Very, very different.


I woke, smiled stretched slowly and turned it was barely light leaned over and looked at the clock, and....what? 6:44a.m.?? What wha..? How could this be? I jumped over Daddy-O waking him in the process with an  excruciating elbow to the ear grabbing the phone to check the dial tone. Dial tone there check, phone working. Uh-oh.... Where were the happy happy happy phone calls ?? Panic began to set in. What in the world??


Tip toeing around  our bedroom in my most indignant Perry Mason/Matlock interpretation I was trying to figure out how this could be so? My precious little baby girl would be four without all the pomp and circumstance?? Nooooo...! I could hear my heart beating in my head faster and faster with sheer panic. I began at that moment plotting to disown my entire family. I could see his family forgetting, but certainly not mine! 
( uh...did I type that out loud? nah.)


But wait " No One " had called. Quick! Check the phone for the 18th time. Dial tone there. Now what? We have a routine, right? Yes, my husband assured me this was disastrous! Again with the now what?
Think, think, think...!! 


It is times like these, as parents we all dread. Okay, I switched gears immediately. Hhmmp! Who needs them? Bunch of selfish, inconsiderate only think of themselves family? Mumbling incoherently under my breath. Let the disowning begin!.......tomorrow.
Today was all about damage control.


We made our own plans. Running through the house into her room singing Happy Birthday to our daughter who awoke beautiful, happy and squealing with delight! We jumped on her bed and laughed and sang attempting happy faces while she was watching. Inside my heart was broke. How could anyone forget my sweet baby? My whole world had tilted that morning off axis.


We changed our entire day to revolve around her. An all day party ensued in our house. It was amazing, fun, delightful, memorable and exhausting. I just could not understand how " my family, my family " could possible have forgotten her. Now I know we just had Christmas and New Years...but we have to have Birthdays where ever they fall right? I was truly sick over the whole ordeal. But watching us no one would have ever guessed our little family secret.... 
( forgot your baby girls birthday? what? what? what? ) 


She was delighted and never noticed. I on the other hand felt as I did the year someone told me Santa Claus wasn't real. No wind under my sails, I felt ten years older. Lunch out, snacks , dinner out, cake, ice cream, presents, presents and a few more new presents and our day was done. The kids were tucked in and we were exhausted. Nary a word was spoke as we finally went to bed that night. I tossed and turned and turned and turned. No lovely dreams. Actually I think I was plotting even in my sleep for my daughter, then it was dark.


I was awoken by the shrill of the telephone.  Rrrrinnggg! Rrrrinnggg! Never a good sign when it is apparently still the middle of the night. I glanced down at the handset....my parents name & number lit up the caller ID. In my best I will never speak to you again ( after this ) voice I said "Hello?"
My Mother asked to speak to our daughter. 
What? Oh really? Ever heard of a day late and a dollar short? 
Well, well...well??..... 
I couldn't believe it, had I not been sound asleep I would have cried at the injustice. 


So I sat up in bed a bit and said "Mother?" from the other end I heard "Yes, honey?" 
I then said "Why didn't you call for her yesterday, on her birthday?" 
When her reply set me bolt upright in bed.
"Because today is her birthday." 
"Today is January 11th Mother!" 
Now I am sitting upright on the bed holding my pillow tight 'The Lioness protecting her cub.' Daddy-O has rolled over to attempt a few more winks of sleep. 
Again she says, "Because today is her birthday, January 11th." 
My eyes are batting open and closed so rapidly that had I weighed a few lbs less I could have taken flight. My ears are ringing and I have gained Daddy-O's full attention. 
He is sitting and staring at me. Not sure how to help. 
My Mother from 2000 miles away repeats herself, 
"Because today is her birthday, January 11th."  I relay this to him. 
"Moooother!"....is all that comes from my mouth. 
We try to explain that we all know the Janwary 10th dance and song as we have been doing it for 360+ days, trust me!
Again she repeats herself. I look at him in disbelief, he looks at me, we start reciting all four of our birthdays. Fingers counting and flying, drivers licenses on the floor, mumbles, get her birth certificate! mumbles, grumbles, and OMG! omg!......


Needless to say Our Daughter was born premature but indeed on January 11th 1984. 
See what a busy household, repetition and programming/training your parents can do? 
Who says Pavlov didn't know what he was doing?? 


And who said, 
"We were raising the children and not the other way around??" 
Enjoy every celebration as you see fit. 
We learned a lot that year, and an extra birthday never hurt anyone especially at age four....enjoy!


(This post is lovingly dedicated to my Daughter without her presence my life would not be complete...)